Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
