oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
