So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
