the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
