fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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