i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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