i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
