He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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