If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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