do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
