you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Enjoy the penises
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
