i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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