Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
