i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
