The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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