I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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