If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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