...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
