I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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