She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
