Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sorry my hands just texted you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
