I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Congratulations! We have a period
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