I hate your face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
