Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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