so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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