That's intense
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
