Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
