apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
