I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
