You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
