her vagine was all disorganized.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
