Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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