His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
