Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
