im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
