i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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