I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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