Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
