Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
