Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
