i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
