Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
