I accidentally had phone sex last night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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