i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
