Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
