apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
