ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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