Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
third nipple confirmed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
