I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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