Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
