We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
