What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
